Tuesday, May 18, 2010
That First Year of Marriage
I don't think anything quite prepares you for when you first are married. You go from having to help Mom out every Saturday for two hours or so (for me it was cleaning the upstairs bathroom and dusting the livingroom -whoopdeedoo!- all done with a fair amount of groaning and complaining, I regret to admit) to having a full blown house to upkeep. Then you have your hubby - who if he lived at home, simply had to take the garbage out once a week (and then to have Grandpop move in and do it for him!!!) I'm exaggerating, of course, but I remember the shock of having to clean an ENTIRE house ALL BY YOURSELF (and with your husband if he does that type of thing). Not only did you have this house to clean, if you were like me, you were working full time, and then you had to come home and cook a meal. Good food is in your tummy and you start to feel tired. That glass of wine has finally relaxed you. But the dishes are calling and the stove is screaming to be cleaned. Your husband says, "Leave it for tomorrow," but you've done that before and you remember the food stuck on the bottom of the pan that refused to come off. Doesn't that sound like a recipe for disaster? So you reel in shock, start to wonder about this blissful first year of marriage that everyone is always talking about (talk about rose-colored glasses!) and you thank the Lord you survived it. And we haven't even mentioned the whole endless talks into the night trying to figure out what in the dickens makes your husband tick - which, ironically, doesn't need a whole lot of explaining in the end. I am thankful that first year of marriage is over. Mike thinks I am entirely too pessimistic and views our first year of marriage as one of wedded bliss. So, I don't really know who is right, but I have a feeling most men and women view their first year of marriage a little differently. Anyway, if I think about what I do now, I'm probably just as busy as I was then but the shock of how much work it is to keep a house clean has worn off. In fact, I'm happiest when I'm busy doing something!
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enjoy your 'leave it for tomorrow' husband...those words will NEVER come out of my husband's mouth! EVER! and yes, the first year was a NIGHTMARE~if you ever find someone who thought the first year was great, let me know because i don't think i've ever met one ;)
ReplyDeleteOkay, I have not been married for a full year yet, but it's been over 10 months so I think I can weigh in a little bit.
ReplyDelete1) Yes, there are adjustments to be made, especially since for me I had a new husband, new town, new job, new church, and new family all at once. But because I had them all at once, I think it actually eased things a bit because I was totally in the mode of meeting new people, and doing what I had to do to get by.
2) I have had a fabulous first year of marriage overall. It has been busy with both of us working or going to school full-time, but Josh and I do so much together that it doesn't seem like chores and we actually find that we are spending lots of quality time together doing these things. Here are things we consistently do together: grocery shopping, shopping in general, cleaning the whole house (and usually we even work on the same room together), cooking, baking, gardening, laundry, and taking walks. And while these things happen, we talk, talk, talk and have fun.
I don't want to sound like I'm bragging at all, or even sound young and silly, but I really have been blessed with an extremely helpful husband. After being gone for two days on a class trip, I came home to 4 loads of laundry washed and put away, as well as piles of gardening and outdoor work done.
So I won't deny that there have been some downs, but overall there have been way more ups. :)
okay, ange, that's just bragging. clear and simple. when you gonna come visit your poor, lonely sister?
ReplyDeleteIf only we all had Joshes.... *sigh*.
ReplyDeleteLol
Dor said ...
ReplyDeleteJosh's Mom ought to start a training school for male fiances! As for that first year, I have to agree with both Nic and Ange. During the first year people told me it's stressful and so many adjustments to make, etc, etc, and I thought what are they talk about? This is great! Sure it's a lot of work, more than EVER! but we're so enthralled with being married and running our own home together that it actually IS fun! And then the second year came along --- even better. And then the third, better yet . . . to make a long story short, we're working on the sixth year and it just gets better as you learn to know each other and your expectations. So now looking BACK on the first year, I do tend to say, yeah, it was the hardest year, the most adjustments (I just didn't know it :)