Yep, it's that topic of ROMANCE again.

I just had to post this. This is my darling sister's response to my post on romance. Here it is: "Does romance die with marriage, or is it just the outward show that fizzles out and there's still something deep inside that the public doesn't see?! This is something I've been discreetly studying, ha ha! At weddings mostly. Everyone should be feeling relaxed and romantic there, right? No kids along. So I poke my husband and whisper, look! There's a couple holding hands or he's got his arm around her or they are really acting interested in what the other is saying and they have got to be at least forty years old. See? romance can thrive in a marriage! And then, I kid you not, this has happened at least 3 out of 3 times, I peer and eventually see no wedding rings, they're just a dating older couple . . . sigh. But I've come to the conclusion that when you're busy with everyday life, you still have to take time for dates to be romantic, but when you're at a wedding, you're both just keen on the good food, entertainment, seeing what everyone else is doing and wearing, and when you get home you'll sit on the couch and kick off your shoes and laugh and gaze in each other's eyes --- if the kids ain't hollerin'.
Back to me. I have been discreetly studying older couples as well...in church. If they sit miles apart, in my book, it's a sure sign of a bad case of fuddy-duddyhood settling in. Meanwhile, the couple is simply sitting far apart because someone is wearing a large hat in front of them (probably me) and they can't see the minister! But seriously, I get a case of the warm fuzzies when I see an older couple in love and showing it!!!
p.s. I love your description of why you go to weddings - good food, entertainment, and seeing what others are wearing... and in that order! Never mind that a young couple is promising love till the day they die... haha.

See, I ain't against romance!

Goodbye, Lard!""

This morning I was saying "goodbye" to Mike as he was heading out the door. I was going to say "Goodbye, darling" and then in my mind I changed it to "Goodbye, love" so when it came out of my mouth, I said: "Goodbye lard!" - a combo of the two. Mike paused, looked at me and said, "Real nice, Chubby!" I like to start the morning off laughing!

An Exciting Opportunity Coming Your Way!!!

Well, what do you think? I'm thinking about writing a book. Since I have such varied knowledge on relationships, marriage, and all of that good stuff, I thought I'd better start putting my knowledge to use. Irene is going to co-author it with me. She has a very keen interest on the subject of modesty, and she would like to write that chapter. Irene will provide all of the idealistic ramblings while I will provide a good dose of reality. Now all I need are a few case studies of various people's marriages. I'm going to need some examples of good and bad marriages. So if you would like to be a part of this exciting project, let me know. Just let me know if you marriage falls into the "good" or "bad" category. Think of what a service you'll be doing to others! I just need a title for my book. I was thinking of "When Two Hotheads Marry."

Our Little Girl

Here is Jules wearing her Sunday outfit from Aunt Lora V.G. She looks a little untidy with her sweater up and her undershirt hanging out. Mom always said I was one of the messy ones in the family with my undershirt (hempe) hanging out and one knee high up and one down... Jules is carrying the tradition on.

Dieting

Well, I'm sure I've scared any of the men that take a peep at my blog with one look at the title. Haven't you all been there? Remember the time your wife asked you if a particular dress made her look fat? Well, you hesitated for one second too long and the rest is history. Now when the subject of "dieting" comes up, a dazed look comes across your face and you ready yourself for endless days of damage control. I remember when I was young and skinny as anything, my sisters used to talk to me about how they were going to go on a diet, what clothes flattered their figures, etc, and it was so BORING! After awhile I learned to nod my head and agree with whatever they said and I vowed that I would never subject my siblings (or kids) to such topics! Instead I'm subjecting all of you! So just skip this post if it gives you heart palpitations or any other bothersome symptoms. Quite frankly, unless you are dieting yourself, all talks of diet and weight control are terribly tedious.
Mike and I are cutting back on fat intake. In fact, I have a chicken recipe that I am going to post one of these days - I even took a picture of it! The other day I made a low-fat soup using diced celery bulb, took pictures of all the steps and planned on posting it until I actually tasted it. All those pictures were for naught for the soup was rather bland. Anyway, the main thing that we are trying to cut back on is fat intake. Then I had a conversation with my sister-in-law who said I should be cutting back on sugar. This was heart-breaking to even think about. Consider: I eat two toasts every morning covered in honey, and the same thing for lunch. (I like it so much I am considering writing an ode titled: "To a Toast All Smothered in Honey". Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?) Then I have coffee twice a day with a sweet of some kind. So I am inclined to ignore the less sugar idea and focus on less fat. What do you think?

Christian Children's Literature

CURRENT Christian children's literature is important. The reason why I emphasized the word "current" is because many books that our children receive via school, church, or even books that parents purchase for them take place back in the day. There is nothing wrong with books such as Johnny the Woodchopper, or Jimmy, the Little Chimneysweep, and other stories along that vein. Many of them show the lives of children who have been delivered from Satan and who love God. Of course this is positive! But if the only books our children read take place in the 1800's, children can very easily start to believe that in order to be a christian you had to live way back then. Secondly, it may be somewhat difficult for children today to relate to a starving chimneysweep, or a poor woodchopper. Somewhat unfortunately, many of the children in these books die in the end, which could also enforce the mistaken idea that christian children die at an early age. And what child (or adult for that matter) wants to hear that??? (I realize that death was more of a reality back then for children, and so it does not mean that we should avoid these books. On the other hand, a steady diet of these types of books is probably not a good idea). I believe it is important to have a variety of christian material for your children to read! And that means investigating current (christian) writers!

Physical Welfare of Children vs. Your Calling

Here is a question I have for you. Should the physical welfare of your children take the precedence in your life over your calling or occupation? The reason I ask this is because I have been reading a lot of missionary stories lately. In one of them,(the story of Jonathan Goforth - a fascinating story (p.s. isn't that a great last name for a missionary?)), out of Jonathan's eleven children born, five of them died in China due to poor sanitation and diseases that were present there. So it got me to wondering. And I don't know what the answer is. Some people would say he and his wife were neglectful. On the other hand, they reached thousands of people in China with the gospel which they wouldn't have been able to do so if they had not been there! It used to be popular back in the day for missionaries to send their children to boarding schools (which was the case in Eric Liddell's case - he was sent to a Scottish boarding school while his parents were in China. He was the athlete who refused to run in one of the Olympic races that took place on Sunday. He then won the 400m race that took place on a different day. He later became a missionary to China as well, another INSPIRING missionary story). Putting missionary children in boarding schools is no longer popular for obvious reasons. Children need their parents to raise them, not some headmaster! But I still wonder if it is right to place your children in a dangerous environment. I also read a book on Nate Saint, one of the men (along with Jim Elliot) who was murdered by a savage tribe in the amazon(?) jungle in South America. I was wondering if they should have exercised greater care in their plan to reach that particular tribe who was known for being cannibals. Is it wrong to wonder such a thing? I think someone will probably respond and tell me that my questions are down right heretical. I do know that as a result of their deaths, in that particular tribe many people became Christians at a later period in time, in a large part due to the missionaries' witness. But I couldn't help feeling terribly sorry for the wives and children who were waiting at home in vain for their husbands and fathers to come home (five missionaries were murdered in that instance). On the other hand, many missionary wives know in advance what they are getting into (although the children do not have much say). And I know it is easy for me to say as I sit in my comfy chair "They should have been much more careful...etc." Maybe I should ask a missionary and see what they think. Or maybe the answer varies from case to case. Anyway, the reason why I am reading so many missionary books is because I am on the hunt for inspiring Christian stories for children and I found these in our church library and enjoyed them all.

Spring!

My bulbs are almost ready to bloom! I am super excited! Every day me and Juliet make the rounds and look at the little green stems poking up from the ground... Juliet points down at them and says, "flowers" though I don't think she really knows what the fuss is about. I remember how much of a pain it was to plant those bulbs this past fall - bending over, trying to dig a hole in the hard ground with a little spade (why did I not just go get the big shovel - it's my own fault all the extra work I go through) - all worth it now! When I get some blooms, I will take pictures and post them. Doesn't spring just fill you with enthusiasm? The sun is shining, it's nice to just sit outside, I've filled FIVE garbage bins with branches and leaves, and I haven't had this kind of energy since....last spring! Now to lose this extra winter fat...sigh. But let's not ruin the moment with those types of thoughts. Anyway, here's a tip for novice gardeners (like me). If you plant bulbs, plant them in bunches. Nothing looks sillier than a round garden, for example, and ten single tulips spaced a foot apart. (No, I did not do this. I saw someone last spring with a garden like this and it looked pathetic. I wanted to knock on whoever's door it was and tell them what I knew to be the RIGHT WAY TO PLANT BULBS. Don't I have a big head?

Romantic Notions

Before we were married, I had this romantic notion that when Mike and I would go to bed, we would read a book, maybe even discuss it together, and spend some quality time talking about our day, etc. It took me about a month after we were married to reconcile myself to the fact that that simply was not going to happen. I was not going to go to bed at 2:00 in the morning which is when Mike goes to sleep! Mike, on the other hand, stays far away from the type of books I like to read, and had no intention of discussing books or having boring talks at eleven o'clock at night. Relationships are hard enough without having to analyze them at eleven o'clock at night! So I had to toss that romantic notion to the wind. There is, however, a silver lining in every dark cloud. Now I know that the second Mike's head hits the pillow, snoring ensues. And I can't fall asleep to the sound of snoring! I've tried the old "pretend it is the waves of the ocean" idea, but that didn't work for me. (One time I got so mad at him that I kicked him HARD, and then I tried to fudge that it was "an accident"). Anyway, another example of how romance changes just happened the other day. Mike was sick with a cold, and when he went to kiss me goodnight, I offered him my cheek, if you please. No thank you, I don't want a cold myself. In the past I wouldn't have cared a fig if he smacked me on the lips, but the idea of having a cold for a week didn't appeal to me. Is it a sign of impending fuddy-duddy hood? As my other post suggests, I'm already there in the music department. Perhaps my old dutch heritage is kicking in - "No foolish affectionate displays neccessary, huh?" (I am sure to get a protest on this post from "Dutch Flora" - but I did say "OLD dutch heritage")

Caution, Endorsement Coming Up!

When I feel down about politics (which seems to be quite often lately) I listen to conservative talk show hosts. If you are a talk show junkie, listen to Michael Medved on 970 from 3:00-6:00. He is much better than Sean Hannity who also has a show during the same time slot. Listening to Hannity day in and day out gets terribly tedious. He says the same thing over and over and it seems the world will end if such and such a bill isn't stopped, or if Pelosi isn't stopped, etc. Honestly, listening to Hannity can really give you a serious case of the blues. Medved, on the other hand, does not only discuss politics. I actually learned a thing or two about economics...ME! I kid you not. (And yes, I am getting big bucks for promoting Medved - Can't you see the dollar signs in my eyes?) By the way, if you haven't signed any petitions against health care, you can do so now on Medved's website. There. Now I've really done it. I've let my own politics enter my blog. Oh well. I break all the rules and do what I want. And by the way, if I stepped on your toes by criticizing Hannity, feel free to comment and I will send an apology, post haste. (Whatever post haste, means - it sounds cool, though.)

Kids Keep you Humble!

When we were down in Florida, Juliet started something new. Usually she is a pretty amiable girl - the key word here being "usually". While we were in Florida, this all stopped. Little old ladies with dandelion hair would come up to her (this was, after all, Florida, where old people thrive), smile at her and make some comment about how cute she was. Juliet's response? She would squint her eyes, scowl, and say "No!" very emphatically and rudely. She would have such a mean look on her face! I would turn red, offer some lame excuse and hustle her out of there. So that's one example of being kept humble. I have more, but I'll save them for another day...

Happiness is a Byproduct of Obedience

Well, I have a little time on my hands... Juliet is napping and so is Mike. Anyway, one of the things that I have been thinking about is something I heard about a half a year ago. It came from a lecture from Pastor Beeke and I think the topic was on knowing what God's will was for your life. He was addressing teenagers in particular and was basically answering questions that many teenagers face: who is the right man/woman for me? what career should I be pursuing? How can I be happy? One of the statements that jumped out at me was when he said: "Happiness is a byproduct of obedience." In this world where pretty much everyone's goal is to be happy, this really isn't a popular concept. I wrote the statement down and put it on the little cork bulletin board in my kitchen. This statement was perfectly illustrated in my life not too long ago when I was mad at Mike (I really have to start coming up with different examples or else everyone that knows me will start slipping me marriage self-help books on the sly and quite frankly, I'm marriage-booked out right now). I knew the right thing to do was to forgive and talk it all out, but I wanted to hold onto my anger and my pride. So, a miserable five hours or however long it took ensued before I magnanimously accepted a humble apology. The point being, if I had simply obeyed God's word in the first place (namely to forgive) I would have been a lot happier! It amazes me how everyday I really have to read that little statement over again because this foolish heart forgets so quickly!!! (I'm not saying that the reason why you should obey God's commands is so that you can be happy. Like the statement says, though, it is a BYPRODUCT of obedience, not the end goal).

Oat Bran, Schmot Bran

I am not a health nut. Truely. Every once in awhile, though, my feelings of guilt overide my commonsense and I fall prey to good advertising. I was wandering in the cereal aisle the other day when I saw a box. "Wholesome" and "Nutritious" were words that popped into my head - words the fill every mother with a sense of complete satisfaction. Off the shelf went the blue cardboard box. A mother and daughter were pictured on the box with the words "Oat Bran" underneath. The words that described the product were filled with assurances: all natural, heart healthy, etc. And when I looked at the ingredients, I saw one ingredient listed: Oat bran (I think this is the first time I ever saw ONE ingredient listed!!!! Seriously!!!) And so, feeling very homey, I whipped out the sauce pan and proceeded to make some oat bran for me and Jules for lunch. I was a bit deterred when I saw sandy looking sludge staring back at me, and when I dipped a teaspoon into it, it tasted like...nothing. Well, nothing needs to be dressed up a bit, I thought, and so I added butter. A bit better, but not good enough to tempt me so in went the brown sugar. I fed it to Juliet and she liked it until the brown sugar and butter were gone and that's when her interest began to wane...as did mine. So, here ends the sad tale of the oat bran...
p.s. oat bran doesn't go down the drain very well. It needs a bit of encouragement...

Transparency...

So here I am thinking again. I never understand men who say there is absolutely nothing floating around in their heads. Can it really be possibly true? I am always thinking about something! Always! And my husband knows by now that if he asks me what I'm thinking about and I answer "nothing," it probably means I'm mad at him about something. And then he'll eventually pry it out of me and everything will be smoothed over. Story of my life. But yeah, here I am thinking again. I think there is a danger (particularly in woman) in portraying their lives as absolutely WONDERFUL. Their marriage is wonderful, kids are great.... A couple weeks ago a bunch of us ladies were together and the topic of marriage came up and I can't recall exactly how the question was put, but it was something along the lines of "How is your marriage?" And all of us ladies busily assured each other (and probably ourselves) that "we had good marriages." And that left me wondering about the people in the room that maybe didn't have such grand marriages. Wouldn't that be discouraging to be around woman who have it supposedly all together? Personally, if I was having doubts in the marriage department, hearing about everyone's wonderful marriage would put me in the dumps and create further disenchantment. I am not suggesting that we have a hubby bashing session by any means. But on the other hand, how about a little transparency? It's okay to admit that you fight sometimes, and that he/she can be terrible annoying when they pick their nose, for instance, or make weird noises when they eat, or whatever it is that drives you crazy....

Utter Nonsense

Am I the only one who falls for those stupid little marriage tests that they have posted on the MSN home page or on any other so called news home page? Honestly, they are the dumbest wastes of time, and yet I ALWAYS read them! Today's was titled: "How your marriage measures up," and of course I HAD to read it and see how my marriage supposedly "measured up." I think I've read them all: "Ten ways to see if your marriage rocks" or "Is he really that into you?" or any other number of ridiculous titles that without fail, hook me. Pathetic, huh? But on the other hand, it bolsters my pride when I pass with flying colors, and really, isn't that why I read them in the first place? Please tell me I'm not the only one reading such utter nonsense.

Movies, Movies, Movies....

There's a dvd I really want to see. It's called "The Young Victoria." I know there was a movie put out a number of years ago about Queen Victoria when she was older - supposedly she fell in love with her Scottish gardener (that's how the story goes, at any rate).... I think it was called "Mrs. Brown". I don't think I saw it but this dvd is on Victoria when she was young and about her romance with Prince Albert. I love a good romance (without any overly amorous scenes)! I am a HUGE fan of all English movies along the lines of Pride and Predujice. Personally, I think the British (BBC) produce a great deal more interesting and well-made movies than Hollywood. Or maybe I just have something for the accent. Anyway, I love looking at the costumes and the beautiful landscapes and one of the reviews of "The Young Victoria" said the costumes were very accurate to the time period. They actually recreated some of the clothes she wore. (Am I the only one who thinks this is cool???) Plus, this movie had a good review at christianreview.com (I think that is the website - just google christian movie reviews and a whole host of sites will pop up) so I think I'll have to watch it sometime. I would highly recommend using christian reviews because it basically tells you all of the possible objectional content in a movie - violence, sexual content, religious worldview, etc. So if you watch something you know you really shouldn't of, it's your own fault and you can't say, "Well, it was rated PG and I didn't think there would be anything objectionable in it!" Okay, on to something else having to do with movies. Here is something you should have emblazened in your mind. Never, ever recommend a movie that you liked when you were fifteen or sixteen (honestly, when it comes to discretion, I have come to the conclusion that I had NONE when I was sixteen). Believe me, your tastes change! About seven(?) years ago, I recommended some chick flick that I had watched when I must have been sixteen. At the time I thought it was the greatest movie that I ever saw. Well, I decided to watch it five years later and it was one of those moments when you wish you could hide under the sofa or crawl under the rug, or just disappear somewhere, anywhere! It did take place in Italy so the beautiful panaramic shots of the rolling countryside was the only part worth watching. So never again! Incidentally, someone at our bible study was talking about a dvd player that will automatically delete inappropriate scenes. I am thinking of looking into it. Right now, I rarely watch anything, but when Juliet gets older, and if she has the discretion that I had when I was sixteen, I think it might just be a good idea....

On holding doors open, and the like

So I was at T.J. Maxx the other night (surprise, surprise), while Mike babysat Juliet. I really avoid shopping with Juliet if I can help it. There is one second hand store in town that I love visiting and whenever Juliet and I go in there, it seems that Juliet fills her diaper. So I end up scuttling out there as fast as I can with a stinky little girl in tow. Anyway, back to my original story, I was in the parking lot at T.J. Maxx and I saw this young couple together. The guy (probably eighteen or something) held the passenger side door open of his pick up truck for his young lady and I thought, "Well, chivalry isn't dead yet!" And it made me happy. And I remembered when I was young and Mike held the door open for me. The equivalent of having a door held open now is if Mike puts Juliet in the car seat for me. That's treat enough for me because she is starting to get heavy...

Romance Novels - Love them or hate them?

I have a real annoyance for romance novels. I used to devour them like an irrisistable bag of salt and vinegar potato chips. No more! Does this sound familiar?
A.) Lonely girl has a difficult life. Her one redeeming quality? She's BEAUTIFUL
B.) Handsome dude lives out west on a ranch by himself. He's mysterious...and misunderstood. His one redeeming quality? He's GORGEOUS!
C.) The two meet in a highly implausible way.
D.) All troubles and misunderstandings are blown away once they look in each other eyes! Loneliness is a thing of the past! Troubles? What troubles? Love conquers all.
E.) The End!

Am I being a little cynical? Yes, I suppose I am. However, what really bothers me with your standard run of the mill christian romance novel is that the end of these novels always end in the couple falling in love. End of story. In essence, the authors are saying that if you just find the right guy/girl, all your problems are solved! This perpetrates a totally unrealistic view point in life and basically says that you can find happiness and fulfillment in a mere human being.
Now, not all romance novels follow the above theme. There are deviations, of course. However, the number of "good" christian romance novels are few and far between (in my opinion). Every once in a while I try to read one for old time's sake, and I never can get past the first chapter. First of all, many of them are poorly researched. Just because you throw in some cowboy lingo don't mean you know what you done be writin' about. Secondly, what's with the penchant for romance novels taking place in the past? Is it more romantic if some guy comes riding up on a horse? So yeah, show me a good christian romance novel and I just might fall over.
There is another point I will get to at some point...that of the argument from Momma's who don't want their girls to read romance novels of the harlequin sort. Better a CHRISTIAN romance than a secular one, full of all sorts of titilating scenes!!!! So, maybe next time I'll toss in the other side of the story.

Highlights of Our Trip to Florida

Mike and I were on our way home from Florida. We had a great time there! I usually go into things with low expectations...why be disappointed if something doesn't turn out??? And then it is nice to be pleasantly surprised. (I was going to make a crack about our marriage being the perfect illustration, but my innocent readers might really start to take me seriously and so I must reign myself in). Mike is the opposite of me. He goes into everything thinking it will be the best that it has ever been and he never is disappointed so I guess it works out for both of us. Like I said though, we really had a great time. Juliet was well behaved for the most part...although I think it took ten years off of my life when we went out to dinner at a fancy steak house full of quiet old people and tinkling piano playing in the background and a VERY antsy Jules who did not relish being put in another high chair - at this point she knew dinner in a restaurant meant she was stuck for a good hour. Thankfully after about fifteen minutes the place got a little louder. Our table was covered with toys... little people sprawled in her ketchup, markers bouncing off of the table and onto the floor, coloring books falling into her cup of milk, and a very red-faced Niccy ready to do ANYTHING to get her to talk softly, so yeah, it wasn't exactly ideal. (Sure you don't want to go down with us next time, Mom?) At any rate, we had fun going to the zoo, and the African Lion's Safari later on in the week. The highlight at the African Lion's Safari for Juliet was the fact that she could climb around the car. Freedom from her car seat? Oh boy, Juliet was game. Never mind the fact that there were zebra's fighting outside. Or that some rare monkey just scratched his armpit. The flight home was interesting as well. I was holding our darling little baby in my arms, trying to rock her to sleep... I was just thinking SUCCESS, when blah, she threw-up down my back. I looked in horror at Mike who was wishing he was twenty seats in front of us. "What should I do?" I whispered to him. "Should I go to the bathroom?" "Yes, of course!" Then he looked at me and gagged a little. I looked at him sympathetically and told him in a gentle way... well, really I squinted my eyes at him and hissed in my meanest voice, "DON'T YOU DARE START, TOO!" Then off I shuffled to the bathroom with Juliet and tried to clean us both up. I heard a timid knock after five minutes on the bathroom door and ignored it. I knew who it was and I wasn't in the mood for "help" at this point. It isn't exactly pleasant knowing that as you make your way back to your seat, everyone around you is secretly holding their noses and privately thinking, "Oh, there's the unprepared lady with the sick kid!" Anyway, I like to think things like this build character. And, in the end, it makes for a good(?) story, and lots of sympathy afterwards.