Okay, here comes the warning. This is, perhaps, a strange post. But then again, maybe I am strange. Here is my question for you. Do you ever think about what you would do if your spouse were to die? (There, I managed to use the "die" word instead of "pass away." In our culture where we like to sugar-coat everything, it is even hard for me to use the word "die" because it is so ...hmmmm... I don't know what the word is. Permanent? Concrete? Final? Which defines death pretty much.) Anyway, let me hasten on to explain that I am not talking about WISHING that your spouse dies - that is totally different. I just wonder what I'd do if Mike were to die. Where would I go? What job would I take? I was thinking about that earlier today and then I quickly thought - "Don't be so morbid, Nic!!!" And yeah, if I did think about it ALL the time, that would be morbid. But I don't. Why is it suddenly so terrible to think about death - whether you think about dieing yourself, or someone close to you? Mike has told me in the past that if he were to die, I would find a nice Canadian boy who wears socks with his sandals in a jiffy (Mike has vivid memories of Canadian's coming down to visit for the long weekend, and this is what he always mentions - socks w/ sandals. I don't know why). And I have given him permission to marry again if I were to die... on two conditions which I won't mention here. In a life where there are no guarantees, is it strange to think about something that WILL eventually happen to you or your spouse (barring Christ's return)?
I haven't even started talking about wills and the like. But I'll leave that for another time. Well, to be honest, I know NOTHING about wills so I'll leave it to a wiser person.
P.S. I wouldn't marry a nice Canadian boy in a jiffy!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think about it..more often in the scenario if something were to happen to me and with concern for the kids..I know though it would be tough and not immediate, Mike would be okay..."interesting" topic. makes one really contemplate mortality.
ReplyDeletei love it that you wrote on this! i've always said that the thing i'm most afraid of is if something happened to ed. i'm very independent (sometimes to a fault!) and know i'd be ok, but i think my heart would just curl up in a ball. ever have that when your heart physically hurts from missing someone?(i get it with my sister and my mom). i really wonder how people go on. and re-marry? no thanks. just like you, i've told ed that i WANT him to remarry if it would make him happy~you can't hold on to people because this life is so fleeting~but for me? nope...especially not a canadian (JUST KIDDING...I think ;).
ReplyDeleteYup, I think of it alot too. Thankfully my kids are older so it wouldn't be as terrible as if they were young...for them. But for me...just having celebrated my 25th anniversary you get to a really "comfortable" stage and don't like the thought of having to start over. IF he did die soon and I could find a good and godly man who would have me :) I DO think I'd marry again.
ReplyDeleteYup, I think about it - its my biggest fear. I've been known to make myself cry about it. Its worse now that we have Allie. I think about where I would live, where I would work, who would watch Allie while I worked (I know, very specific). But Brian and I talk openly about it and have made some plans should something happen to either one of us (or both). It does seem like a morbid thing to talk about, but it is reality. I bet people think about it a lot more than they're willing to admit!
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